Some people go through life convinced that all banks are horrible. Briefcase does not subscribe to this belief but can understand why it exists, and may even be growing. How is this so? Because last week Briefcase had one of those bank experiences that started as a small inconvenience, and ended as one of those “not sure whether to laugh or cry” situations which seem to be a speciality of all big corporations.
The company in question is Commonwealth Bank, Australia’s fourth biggest business, and a $37 billion gorilla that doesn’t really have to care much when its services fall short of what a reasonable customer might expect.
The problem Briefcase experienced started with the use of a Visa card in one of three automatic teller machines at the High Street branch of the Commonwealth in Fremantle. Not a customer of the bank, but finding the ATM convenient, Briefcase popped in to extract an urgently needed $200, happy to pay the fat fee involved.
What a surprise when only $150 came out. Indignant, and close to yelling “stop thief” or “we’ve been robbed”, a visit was immediately made to the inquiries desk inside the branch. “Oh, which machine did you use” was the curious reply to the allegation of a $50 shortfall. In hindsight, that reaction was the most open in what then became a rather tawdry affair which is told here as a variation on the bank’s own recorded message played back to anyone who calls them, you know the one: “this call may be recorded for coaching purposes.”
Well, in the interests of coaching the staff at the Commonwealth (for training purposes, naturally) here’s what happened. Briefcase was told by the inquiries lady that customers often have problems with "that" machine because the line of information on the video screen doesn’t quite line up with the metal buttons which have to be pushed when prompted.
See the problem. Silly old Briefcase must have pressed the $150 rather than the $200 button either because he’s incredibly stupid or because of the small problem of the video and the button not being aligned.
Some people would have accepted that explanation. Briefcase did not because either $50 has gone astray (much pain and explaining required to Mrs Briefcase), or the bank – and this is the core issue – is providing a less than acceptable service, with a machine that doesn’t quite work as advertised.
What makes this especially interesting is that we are in an era when all banks are herding their customers out the front door into their ATM parlours where, we are told, a friendly ATM machine can handle all of your requirements.
Worried about the missing $50, and concerned that all was not well with the ATM, Briefcase confronted the branch manager, Aaron Doig. At this point Aaron assumed he was dealing with a blow-in off the street because Briefcase was in drag – well, work clobber because he was cleaning cars and doing other chores.
“Oh, that machine,” is how Briefcase remembers the conversation. “There is a problem and you have to look closely to line up the video message and the button.”
Well, says Briefcase as he moves into journo mode and starts firing the questions: “is that a rare problem, are all the machines at the Commonwealth the same, do you get many complaints, are you concerned, why don’t you fix it.”
Aaron mumbles a few answers. We’ve known about it for a while. No, it’s not widespread, and words to the effect of why don’t you look closely and realise that the video and the buttons don’t line up and it’s your job to work out the problem.
Briefcase slinks away, deeply unhappy and determined to get to the bottom of the problem. A fresh confrontation with Aaron is on the agenda, but first a quick call to the Commonwealth’s head office in Perth.
Silly boy. This is a national business. No-one in Perth can speak to the media. Perth tries to transfer the call to Sydney. That’s nice, but no-one answers in Sydney. Time for a direct call to the bank’s media office in Sydney. On the third try a spokesman is found. “On to it now, will call back,” is the encouraging response.
While this is happening its back to Fremantle in pursuit of the $50, or an explanation. By now, however, Aaron has entered the official cone of silence. “Can’t talk to the media. Someone will call you etc etc”. All delivered with the official Commonwealth smile. (Note to Commonwealth chief executive David Murray: “David, this boy is good. Mark his card for promotion. Unfussed, unconcerned, soon the pesky journo will go away”).
True. That’s what always happens, in this case aided by the Sydney spin doctor who calls back to say “we’ve got 20,000 ATM machines, the IT people reckon the problem could be one of a million things, can’t help, thanks for calling, have a nice day”.
As Briefcase leaves Aaron is tending to an elderly customer. A final throw-away question is tossed: “are you sure there are no complaints”. Aaron’s cool snaps. “Only when people like you try to stir people up.”
Ahh. The truth is out. The ATM problem is the fault of the media. We caused it by asking questions, demanding service, not accepting the official fob off, expecting more from a $37 billion gorilla.
As Briefcase walks away for the second time there is a small victory. In the lobby of the bank are queues at the three ATMs. People are bending at the knee to get eyeball-close to that damned video line and perhaps, just perhaps, there is a murmuring in the air which goes like this: “does it line up with button three, or button four” – or is it just the sea breeze blowing down High Street.
Whatever. Aaron is safely inside the bank. Sydney media liaison is on the No.37 bus home. Briefcase is defeated by the gorilla. And the real customers (remember them) are outside the front door, in the ATM lobby, squinting at the video screens.
Why is it that Briefcase sees a similarity these days between banking and cattle herding?
“Journalism ... drawing sketches in the sand that the sea will wash away.” Walter Lippmann.