A FEW years ago, I had the privilege to work with an Aboriginal from the Nyoongar tribe. He was a man full of wisdom and intelligence. He had a serenity about him that defied the way he had been treated by white society. He opened my eyes about what it is like to live in a black skin in a white man's world. He didn't talk about his experiences of blatant racism (though he had plenty), but rather about the subtle ways he was devalued, his dignity eroded.
Yet he had no anger, no bitterness, no hatred.
He told me that he didn't want anybody to say sorry to him for the behaviour of white Australians to black Australians. He couldn't care less about sorry. What he did want was for the current generation to simply acknowledge that the past happened.
Acknowledgment is a powerful part of reconciliation. On a smaller stage, reconciliation is something that a manager may have to engage in from time to time. A manager can prevent a lot of potential damage by acknowledging to his or her workgroup when he or she has got it wrong.
It's a simple concept but it appears difficult to execute for many people. The main obstacle to acknowledging that you were wrong is possibly pride, followed by lack of awareness. In an imperfect world, managers will invariably make mistakes.
In work relationships, acknowledgment is a powerful tool for mending broken bridges. It can take a variety of forms. Here are some examples.
- When I said 'so and so' the other day during our project meeting - I was wrong. I would like to acknowledge to all of you that I made a mistake.
- Listen. I would just like to acknowledge that I was a bit scratchy the other day. I think I was dumping some other frustration on you.
- When I was talking to you recently about this change, I was basing my comments on certain assumptions. I have since been informed of the facts about the situation. I would like to acknowledge to you that my original comments were ill informed.
- This may come as a shock to some of you. It's recently been brought to my attention that I don't give you much positive feedback and that, from your point of view, it is always negative feedback. I just want to say that this has not been intentional on my part, but I acknowledge that's how it seems to you. I also acknowledge that I take all the many things you do well for granted. It seems to me that I could let you know more often when you do things that I really appreciate.
- Yes. You are right. I did say that five minutes ago. I take it back. I was wrong.
- You know that argument we had yesterday? Well, in the heat of the moment I said some things that didn't come out the right way. They were not a true reflection of what I really think. I would just like to acknowledge that what I said was inappropriate and not accurate.
IMPROVING YOUR PERFORMANCE - ACKNOWLEDGMENT
- I had a heart-to-heart chat with 'xxx' the other day and she told me a few 'home truths' about myself. It seems that I have a few irritating habits that get up your nose. Well, I don't think I'm alone in that regard, but on reflection I can acknowledge that if someone treated me like that I would not like it. I don't think I can reinvent myself overnight, but at least I am aware of these things and I will endeavour to work on them. Is that fair?
- I think that in the past I have been a little too controlling in my management style. I acknowledge that this has frustrated some of you. I also acknowledge that you have the competence to take more control over the way you do things. I intend to back off in future and stay out of your way and let you get on with your business without interference from me.