Happiness is your decision

Opinion: Stop blaming your run of outs on others; how you respond to challenges is entirely up to you.

Regular readers of my column will know how highly I value the power of a positive approach to the sales process, and in the value of planning and preparation.

Recently I have been thinking about the challenges we face in overcoming the inherent biases of language. It started for me when I realised how debilitating the word ‘after’ is.

After is a self-defeating word.

It robs you of the present, and resigns you to wait without taking any action.

You convince yourself that life will be better: after you get a new job; after you get a better job; after you get more money; after you get out of debt; after the economy rebounds; or after you get that big order.

You convince yourself that life will be better: after you get married; after you get a new house; after you take a holiday; after you come back from your holiday; after summer is over; or after some other action-procrastinating ‘after’.

Are you frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough, and believe you’ll be more content after they’re in high school or out of high school? Are you frustrated that you have teenagers to deal with? You will certainly be happy after they’re out of that stage. Certainly you’ll be happier after they’re in university, or is it out of university?

You tell yourself that your life will be more complete when your spouse gets his or her act together, you get a nicer car, a new house, a raise in pay, a new boss, or worse, after you retire.

The truth is, the fact is, the reality is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now.

If not now, when? After the economy gets better?

You may not be able to wait that long.

Your life will always be filled with challenges, barriers, and disappointments. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

The writer and philosopher Alfred Souza said: “For a long, long time it had seemed to me that I was about to begin real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”

There is no way to happiness.

Happiness is the way.

There is no after to happiness

Happiness is now.

It’s inside your head first and everyplace else second. Happiness is a treasure. Your opportunity is to treasure every moment that you have.

Stop waiting until you finish school, after you quit smoking, you start work, you retire, you get married, you get divorced, Friday night, Sunday morning, you get your new car or home, your car or home is paid off, spring, summer, autumn, winter, you win the lottery, or until the cows come home to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy.

And treasure the happiness of now more because you share it with someone special enough to invest your time in.

Happiness is:

• not a sale or a commission;

• not an economy or a budget; and

• not a yes or a no.

Happiness is a way of life that is inside you at all times. It helps you get over the tough times, and helps you celebrate the special times.

It seems pretty simple to define on paper, but real difficult to manifest when the chips are down. My experience has taught me the difference between resign and resolve. You can resign yourself to what is, and hope or wait for a better day, or you can resolve that you are a positive person who finds the good, the positive, the happiness, the smile, and especially the opportunity in everything.

Happiness is now, not a goal or a destination.

It’s not an after, it’s a before.

And it’s up to you. All you have to do is decide.

Jeffrey Gitomer is an American author, professional speaker and business trainer, who writes and lectures internationally on sales, customer loyalty and personal development.